But a physician I interviewed while researching Rekindling the Romance , a book I wrote with my wife, Barbara, told me the problem for most men who lack sexual desire is not inadequate desire or erectile dysfunction. When a man shows little or no sexual interest in his wife, she will experience several emotions. And for the record, starting a fire in your backyard is not what God has in mind! Pause with me to consider the irony of this true story. God gave us romance in marriage so that we could frequently celebrate our love—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Do it for the sake of your marriage and family. Did you grow up in a family where you were made to think sex was dirty? I am 38 and he is 44—both first time marriages. This leaves me feeling unloved, undesirable, and rejected.