I gave her an ultimatum, the situation seemed to be resolved and the friend moved away. If your children come first, you will need to look for another job - any job - that will allow you to live near them. Now, you have been asked to accept that your wife may leave you - for a woman. Allow your wife to be who she is There must be many women - I'm one of them - who discovered their true sexual orientation only after they had toed the conventional line of marriage and children. I feel angry and betrayed and believe my absence from the family home is adversely affecting our children - my wife says she is no longer willing for the family to move. We have updated the advice given about counselling services. Your own description of how you are feeling - angry and betrayed, powerless and bewildered - is particularly apt, because I suspect you are someone who lives more by reason than by emotion. If you don't feel that you could adjust to a marriage without sex, you may decide to separate from your wife, to make it easier to find a partner who shares your sexual orientation.