That said, I'm years-old, unemployed, single, and live alone with a cat. Zipping up his pants, he said, "I planned to be jerking off for you when you got here, but then this guy walked by and came in. If I asked for iced coffee unsweetened and the barista gave it to me sweetened, I'd accept it as a sign that I deserved something sweet. I feel good about that part of me, for the most part. Asshole mission accomplished. In fact, one of the two most popular people in the entire country right now is a gigantic asshole, and has made it to where he is entirely by being an asshole.
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