When I showed my friend she cry-laughed for about thirty minutes straight, because my normally jiggly belly was immovable, like someone had poured concrete in it. When it's time for dessert, you'll lick the icing off your cake listlessly, regretting all the food you ate that's prohibiting you from eating any more. This kind of pain isn't because of the stretching, gurgling Food Baby inside you though—it's because that Food Baby is now shredding through your insides, and coming up for air. By now, you're also so scared of what's to come in the game of porcelain thrones that you'll wish you never started this food pregnancy in the first place. Like real babies, Food Babies have to come out some day. The joy of feeling something alien inside you is subsumed only by the feelings of pain that come along with it. You know what's coming soon: The birth.