We lead complex, often rich lives. This comes from guys who don't necessarily have a problem with my weight -- they just have a problem with fat people. Whether or not fat hatred is malicious, it's still harmful. I don't mind if you tend to date fat girls, or really even if you get some specific pleasure from being with a fat woman -- but I don't need that to be the first thing you tell me about yourself. There is no denying that fact. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness. Add a few extra layers of fat to that experience, and things can get depressing real fast. I enjoy sex, I love meeting new people, and I think there is an incredible power in making intimate connections. Don't just assume I'm all in because I'm sex-positive, fat, and sometimes femme.