Having a wife with a strong motherly essence was once a positive thing. And then, we move on and we learn. Loving yourself is a lot harder to do than to say, and most of us have to work on that daily. But when he needs rescuing, and I'm there for him, suddenly I'm doing the wrong thing and acting like a mother. I believe people cannot love another until they know themselves. You're supposed to be there for them. On the other hand, there is a notion for females that if you become too over protective of your SO and show that you care too much, you become "motherly.